….is not “Who is running for President in 2020?” but rather, “Who is not running for President in 2020.” According to Ballotpedia, a total of 581 hopefuls have filed as a candidate for the White House job thus far:
- 12 Greens
- 20 Libertarians
- 76 Republicans
- 195 Democrats
- 278 Others (Whatever that means… Independents, Whigs, Social Democrats, Democratic Socialists, Elvis Impersonating Quakers, Antidisestablishmentarians, Billionnaire Boys Clubbers, Friends of Harry Potter… I don’t really know.)
Feeling left behind? If you feel like America needs your particular and extraordinary skills in the White House, you’ll need to get started right away as the field is growing exponentially and you’ll want some time to be able to stiff-arm, browbeat and otherwise hinder the competition and position your candidacy at the top from day one. Go right now to the Federal Election Commission website at:
If you really want to run, you will need both a campaign manager and speech writer eventually, so you may want to consider hiring me, in which case, I would be willing to fill both positions… two for the price of one. My qualifications? As follows:
- I’m not a lawyer and I firmly believe that what happens in Toledo, stays in Toledo… if you get my drift.
- I do not now, nor have I ever knowingly spoken to, worked for, consulted with, or even smiled at any Russians.
- My speechwriting is guaranteed to elevate your candidacy to the highest level possible… or to appeal to the lowest common denominator, electorate-wise, according to your particular audience on any given day or venue.
- I have absolutely no idea how to run a campaign… and having never done it, I can sincerely state… without hesitation and with the utmost confidence… that in the course of my career, I have never lost a single election.
Not interested? You should be… I mean, everyone else is running, why not you? As the great Athenian philosopher and teacher, Plato once said, “One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” And isn’t that more true in America since 2016, than at any other time and place in history?